Ok, so I know I have a few fellow bibliomaniacs out there in blog land! Has anyone heard about book crossing?! You can print or order these cute labels, then you stick them in a book and "set it free!" You can give them to a stranger or leave them in a fun place. Then you watch the progress online. How fun is that?! Plus a great way to save some trees and make someone's day. (I would be ecstatic if I found a free book!!) Who wants to sign up?! (ps: its free!) Thursday, September 16, 2010
Book Crossing
Ok, so I know I have a few fellow bibliomaniacs out there in blog land! Has anyone heard about book crossing?! You can print or order these cute labels, then you stick them in a book and "set it free!" You can give them to a stranger or leave them in a fun place. Then you watch the progress online. How fun is that?! Plus a great way to save some trees and make someone's day. (I would be ecstatic if I found a free book!!) Who wants to sign up?! (ps: its free!) Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Proud to be an introvert!!
Yes, I am an introvert! People are often surprised to hear this, which in turn surprises me because I feel like I embody introversion pretty damn well! I have realized though that this stems more from a difference in understanding the nature of introversion, than in a misunderstanding of who I am or who I present to the world.
So, what does an introvert do when she wants to understand a concept better? Thats right, she reads a book on it!! I had a basic understanding of myself as an introvert, but true to my introverted form, wanted to grasp the whole picture. (Introverts like to know a lot about fewer topics, while extroverts generally want to know less detail about a broader range of topics) The best book that I found was called The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney PsyD (side note; yay for PsyDs!!!) She is a doctoral level clinical psychologist, so she knows her stuff! (yeah, tooting my own horn here!) But, she writes in a way that is very easy to understand.
Here are some general concepts from the book that I found to be most beneficial in understanding myself and how I function as an introvert. (as you may have noticed, things directly from the book are green) The first major thing is that we are often misunderstood as being socially awkward or shy and introversion is often equated with social anxiety. This is not true, introverts actually do enjoy social interactions, just usually on a different level than extroverts.
1) One concept that I have heard before, but that I find the most useful is to think of it in terms of where you "recharge." Think of an introvert as a rechargeable battery and an extrovert as a solar panel. Introverts can function in social settings perfectly fine, as long as they have the ability to recharge at their home base. This means that we need the time to regroup and consolidate internally in a quiet and safe place where we can be alone (aka: home, bedroom, or some other private place). Extroverts on the other hand, recharge through social interactions, they soak it up like a solar panel!
When I finally grasped this concept, it was like a profound light bulb went off for me! I am able to have fun when out with people, but I have always had this urge that I call my "homing beacon!" Unconsciously, I get to a point where I need to recharge and leave the event so that I can go to my home base. I love that an understanding of this has brought it to the conscious level. Now that I know this and am able to take care of my recharging, I can function better in social settings. This used to cause me problems because I would not listen to my "homing beacon" and then my anxiety would come out in self-destructive ways (drinking too much, becoming irritated with friends, etc). I believe that it is when, as introverts, we do not allow ourselves this space to recharge (or as I call it, feeding our introversion) that is when we get labeled as having social anxiety and/or come across problems.
Another aspect of this point is that we place a lot of value on our home base because it is essential to our recharging and introversion feeding! This is why we generally don't like surprise or extended intrusions to our space. In other words, we are happy to have visitors as long as it is not for a month at a time and we have enough time prior to prepare ourselves.
2) We need time to process information before responding. So, its likely that we will never make good comedians because we are the people who think of a witty retort a few hours later! This is something that I have always been frustrated with in regards to arguments, either in relationships or when debating something that I feel strongly about. (Introverts often have very strong feelings about topics that they have a vested interest in, or are morally attached to) I have learned to compensate by writing my feelings down (often in bullet point, because Im a dork like that!) so that I can organize them before getting caught up in an emotional conversation.
3) We can take offense when we are interrupted. As you may have noticed, we don't talk a lot and are generally the listeners. This particular aspect of introversion is much to the dismay of my partner. Most people in our society are used to being talked over and talking over others. We have a very vocal society that is run by extroverts and this is one area where us introverts do not fit in well. Putting all the prior points together; we generally only open up fully to those who we trust into our emotional home base, we likely have strong feelings about the things we are willing to talk a lot about, and we take the time to process our thoughts before vocalizing them. So...maybe that helps to shed light on why we take it personally when someone interrupts us when we finally talk!
4) We don't function well under a lot of stimulation. My best example of this point; Costco!! I hate the damn place, but my extroverted girlfriend loves it! There is a Jungian concept that describes the differences in stimulation in great detail, but even with a full graduate level class I still do not fully understand it all. So, here is my watered down version. Introverts have a very rich internal world and are overstimulated by an abundance of external stimuli. Extroverts are fueled more by external stimuli than by their internal world, so they thrive on stimuli in the external world (remember the solar panel that I mentioned earlier). This is why I am overwhelmed by all the lights, noise, and crap in Costco. In fact, I usually stay at the cart and read a book (my on-the-go version of my home base) while Rachel goes out into the scary Costco world.
There is sooo much more that I could share because I am fascinated by this concept and how us introverts function in such an extroverted world! But, I will restrain myself :) The most important take home point for any introvert out there is to feed your introversion! Basically just remember that you need to recharge. Listen to your rich internal world (yeah, Im proud of that internal world thing!) and notice when it is telling you that you need some alone time. Figure out what works for you to recharge. For me, its reading a book, spending time in my office focusing on school work, or taking a walk. Then, when you feel like you are overwhelmed by all the stimuli that is in this extroverted world, take time to recharge. And finally, be proud of your introversion! I personally think that we have many advantages over extroverts (I mean come on, we have a "rich internal world!!") and we only need to understand ourselves better to be able to function effectively in this crazy extroverted world!
I highly recommend to anyone who thinks that they are an introvert, or anyone who is dating or close friends with an introvert, to read this book. Also, the most recent edition of Psychology Today has an article that summarized most of the information pretty well.
What do you think? Are you extroverted or introverted? Does it work for you? Did this introverted girl ramble on too much about her rich internal world?!
So, what does an introvert do when she wants to understand a concept better? Thats right, she reads a book on it!! I had a basic understanding of myself as an introvert, but true to my introverted form, wanted to grasp the whole picture. (Introverts like to know a lot about fewer topics, while extroverts generally want to know less detail about a broader range of topics) The best book that I found was called The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney PsyD (side note; yay for PsyDs!!!) She is a doctoral level clinical psychologist, so she knows her stuff! (yeah, tooting my own horn here!) But, she writes in a way that is very easy to understand.
Here are some general concepts from the book that I found to be most beneficial in understanding myself and how I function as an introvert. (as you may have noticed, things directly from the book are green) The first major thing is that we are often misunderstood as being socially awkward or shy and introversion is often equated with social anxiety. This is not true, introverts actually do enjoy social interactions, just usually on a different level than extroverts.
1) One concept that I have heard before, but that I find the most useful is to think of it in terms of where you "recharge." Think of an introvert as a rechargeable battery and an extrovert as a solar panel. Introverts can function in social settings perfectly fine, as long as they have the ability to recharge at their home base. This means that we need the time to regroup and consolidate internally in a quiet and safe place where we can be alone (aka: home, bedroom, or some other private place). Extroverts on the other hand, recharge through social interactions, they soak it up like a solar panel!
When I finally grasped this concept, it was like a profound light bulb went off for me! I am able to have fun when out with people, but I have always had this urge that I call my "homing beacon!" Unconsciously, I get to a point where I need to recharge and leave the event so that I can go to my home base. I love that an understanding of this has brought it to the conscious level. Now that I know this and am able to take care of my recharging, I can function better in social settings. This used to cause me problems because I would not listen to my "homing beacon" and then my anxiety would come out in self-destructive ways (drinking too much, becoming irritated with friends, etc). I believe that it is when, as introverts, we do not allow ourselves this space to recharge (or as I call it, feeding our introversion) that is when we get labeled as having social anxiety and/or come across problems.
Another aspect of this point is that we place a lot of value on our home base because it is essential to our recharging and introversion feeding! This is why we generally don't like surprise or extended intrusions to our space. In other words, we are happy to have visitors as long as it is not for a month at a time and we have enough time prior to prepare ourselves.
2) We need time to process information before responding. So, its likely that we will never make good comedians because we are the people who think of a witty retort a few hours later! This is something that I have always been frustrated with in regards to arguments, either in relationships or when debating something that I feel strongly about. (Introverts often have very strong feelings about topics that they have a vested interest in, or are morally attached to) I have learned to compensate by writing my feelings down (often in bullet point, because Im a dork like that!) so that I can organize them before getting caught up in an emotional conversation.
3) We can take offense when we are interrupted. As you may have noticed, we don't talk a lot and are generally the listeners. This particular aspect of introversion is much to the dismay of my partner. Most people in our society are used to being talked over and talking over others. We have a very vocal society that is run by extroverts and this is one area where us introverts do not fit in well. Putting all the prior points together; we generally only open up fully to those who we trust into our emotional home base, we likely have strong feelings about the things we are willing to talk a lot about, and we take the time to process our thoughts before vocalizing them. So...maybe that helps to shed light on why we take it personally when someone interrupts us when we finally talk!
4) We don't function well under a lot of stimulation. My best example of this point; Costco!! I hate the damn place, but my extroverted girlfriend loves it! There is a Jungian concept that describes the differences in stimulation in great detail, but even with a full graduate level class I still do not fully understand it all. So, here is my watered down version. Introverts have a very rich internal world and are overstimulated by an abundance of external stimuli. Extroverts are fueled more by external stimuli than by their internal world, so they thrive on stimuli in the external world (remember the solar panel that I mentioned earlier). This is why I am overwhelmed by all the lights, noise, and crap in Costco. In fact, I usually stay at the cart and read a book (my on-the-go version of my home base) while Rachel goes out into the scary Costco world.
There is sooo much more that I could share because I am fascinated by this concept and how us introverts function in such an extroverted world! But, I will restrain myself :) The most important take home point for any introvert out there is to feed your introversion! Basically just remember that you need to recharge. Listen to your rich internal world (yeah, Im proud of that internal world thing!) and notice when it is telling you that you need some alone time. Figure out what works for you to recharge. For me, its reading a book, spending time in my office focusing on school work, or taking a walk. Then, when you feel like you are overwhelmed by all the stimuli that is in this extroverted world, take time to recharge. And finally, be proud of your introversion! I personally think that we have many advantages over extroverts (I mean come on, we have a "rich internal world!!") and we only need to understand ourselves better to be able to function effectively in this crazy extroverted world!
I highly recommend to anyone who thinks that they are an introvert, or anyone who is dating or close friends with an introvert, to read this book. Also, the most recent edition of Psychology Today has an article that summarized most of the information pretty well.
What do you think? Are you extroverted or introverted? Does it work for you? Did this introverted girl ramble on too much about her rich internal world?!
 |
| My idea of a perfect home base to recharge! |
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Just a snippet
I just realized by adding that "popular post" thing to my side bar that my most read post is the butt tags one! Huh, who woulda thunk.......
Update: I have been coveting the cute little blog "go to" buttons that I am seeing on everyone's sites. So, I made a few of my own, they are along the side bar too. You know you want one!! :)
Update: I have been coveting the cute little blog "go to" buttons that I am seeing on everyone's sites. So, I made a few of my own, they are along the side bar too. You know you want one!! :)
Friday, September 10, 2010
"Greatness lives on the edge of destruction"
I was watching the Will and Jada Smith family on Oprah today (a rerun from May, I think?) and Will made this statement in reference to the amount of work his son went through for a movie. I love this quote!! I think it honors the significance of hard work and how the payoff of pushing yourself to the point of breaking is....well, greatness!
I googled it afterwards, assuming that it was a quote he borrowed from a philosopher or someone. From what I can tell though, it was an original Will! I did although, find a lot of controversy over it. Apparently people thought he overworked his kid, who was 11 at the time. I don't know, I think hard work is good and I find it to be far better than a rich kid who is handed everything in life on a silver platter...
What are your thoughts on it though? Do you think life should be easier? That "the edge of destruction" is a bit too far?
Personally, I love it. I like to think that when I feel at the edge of my destruction, really I'm just that much closer to greatness!
(On a side note: is the Smith family not absolutely perfect? Yeesh!!)
I googled it afterwards, assuming that it was a quote he borrowed from a philosopher or someone. From what I can tell though, it was an original Will! I did although, find a lot of controversy over it. Apparently people thought he overworked his kid, who was 11 at the time. I don't know, I think hard work is good and I find it to be far better than a rich kid who is handed everything in life on a silver platter...
What are your thoughts on it though? Do you think life should be easier? That "the edge of destruction" is a bit too far?
Personally, I love it. I like to think that when I feel at the edge of my destruction, really I'm just that much closer to greatness!
(On a side note: is the Smith family not absolutely perfect? Yeesh!!)
Monday, September 6, 2010
Considering taking the homemade pet food plunge....
I have been making home made dog biscuits for a few months now. They are fun to make, I know what is in them (and therefore, what is going into my dog's bodies), I can make them into fun little dog, heart, star, and even cat! shapes, plus the dogs LOVE them!! This change was an easy decision, it costs less and is much healthier.Switching to home made dog food though...thats a bigger decision! I've wanted to for quite a while for a multitude of reasons; I don't trust the dog food labels, I think variety is needed, plus the quality of what is put in pet food is so low, its scary. I was at Half Price Book's 20% off sale this weekend (side note; yay for 20% off at one of my favorite stores!!!) and found this book on making the switch. Ive only started reading it, but have made it through the introduction, which includes all the reasons why a natural diet is so important. It was exactly what I needed to push me over the edge! Did you know that road kill is occasionally used to make the lower end dog kibble?! Obviously that is one of the dramatic statements, but even the less disgusting information was surprising to me. It can basically be summed up by the realization that pet food labels that say "USDA inspected" are true in a disgustingly ironic way. The meat is inspected, but not in the way they want you to think, its the pieces that don't pass inspection that make it into pet food! This means that feathers, fecal matter, bones, and fat are the main ingredients making up the "protein" that our furry family members are eating. (Reading through this information also reiterates my decision to be a vegetarian by the way!)
So, how do I solve this problem and relieve my newly increased anxiety over what my furry family members are eating? I make it myself! This book also includes recipes and tips for making the change. I know I have a lot of other pet lovers and owners out there in blog land though. Has anyone else considered this, done it, know someone who does it, anything?! Im nervous that I won't include everything that they need, won't be able to do it, they won't like it...you get the idea.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Apparently I really am an eternal student...
I just finished all my coursework and its not really having the relief filled effect that I expected. I have found myself looking for academic-y things to do...as if this damn dissertation is academic enough!! I have actually caught myself on multiple occasions over the last few months contemplating signing up for foreign language classes! I have the community continuing education class websites bookmarked on my computer...hmm, a writing class or a review of classic literature?! Seriously Crystal, take a break from texts, deadlines, and tests!!! What is wrong with me? I was in Fred Meyer the other day and instinctively went to the school supply section. I actually started to cry when I realized that I didn't need to pick out folders and pens.
I guess I can give myself a little bit of a break. Folders, textbooks, and deadlines have been a huge part of my life for...well most of my life! Its a big change in my scholastically minded life to not have deadlines hanging over my head.
Im convinced that I will forever be intrigued by knowledge and searching for the next new bit of it to soak up. Someday, I will be able to enjoy it, taking classes I want to take and not acquiring an obscene amount of debt in order to do so. Im really excited for that! But right now I think I need a break, no more classroom learning for a while! I want to enjoy it again when I start; to be able to be fully excited to learn! Right now, its just habit and another thing to get through. But yet, its tempting....yeah, I have issues!
Oh well, I guess I still have this dissertation thing to keep me grounded for now.... (sigh)
I guess I can give myself a little bit of a break. Folders, textbooks, and deadlines have been a huge part of my life for...well most of my life! Its a big change in my scholastically minded life to not have deadlines hanging over my head.
Im convinced that I will forever be intrigued by knowledge and searching for the next new bit of it to soak up. Someday, I will be able to enjoy it, taking classes I want to take and not acquiring an obscene amount of debt in order to do so. Im really excited for that! But right now I think I need a break, no more classroom learning for a while! I want to enjoy it again when I start; to be able to be fully excited to learn! Right now, its just habit and another thing to get through. But yet, its tempting....yeah, I have issues!
Oh well, I guess I still have this dissertation thing to keep me grounded for now.... (sigh)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Central Perk/library/beach house!!!
I want a perfect coffee shop! What is Crystal's version of a perfect coffee shop you ask?!
Well, it would have a bunch of comfy chairs and couches in the front section. There would be chandeliers to offer subtly bright, but not blinding light. All the walls would have built in book shelves with classic old books littering them. There would be an area in the back with big tables and comfy desk-type chairs. This would be the quiet area, and it would actually be quiet...as in how a library is meant to be!! There would be an unwritten law that everyone who was in there warmly accepted.
Of course there would be good coffee! Also though, yummy breakfast wraps and bagels. And for those of us who do homework all the live long day(!), there would be lunch options also...oh and wine! :)
The best part of this perfect coffee shop? It would be a hidden little gem! Im thinking something along the other side of Alki (here is an old link for those of you who are not Seattleites); the quiet but yet still beautiful side. Tucked away in the midst of cozy houses, but still with a view of the water. Plus it would have an entire wall that opened up like a garage door so you could listen to the water, from a secluded section of the beach of course!
Can you picture it?! If anyone knows of this place, please please share!! Until then, I will put on my noise reduction headphones and sit in a coffee shop with crappy stale bagels while I plug away at this lovely dissertation! Ahh, a girl can dream.....
Well, it would have a bunch of comfy chairs and couches in the front section. There would be chandeliers to offer subtly bright, but not blinding light. All the walls would have built in book shelves with classic old books littering them. There would be an area in the back with big tables and comfy desk-type chairs. This would be the quiet area, and it would actually be quiet...as in how a library is meant to be!! There would be an unwritten law that everyone who was in there warmly accepted.
Of course there would be good coffee! Also though, yummy breakfast wraps and bagels. And for those of us who do homework all the live long day(!), there would be lunch options also...oh and wine! :)
The best part of this perfect coffee shop? It would be a hidden little gem! Im thinking something along the other side of Alki (here is an old link for those of you who are not Seattleites); the quiet but yet still beautiful side. Tucked away in the midst of cozy houses, but still with a view of the water. Plus it would have an entire wall that opened up like a garage door so you could listen to the water, from a secluded section of the beach of course!
Can you picture it?! If anyone knows of this place, please please share!! Until then, I will put on my noise reduction headphones and sit in a coffee shop with crappy stale bagels while I plug away at this lovely dissertation! Ahh, a girl can dream.....
Saturday, August 21, 2010
"Books in a series give me reason to continue living..."
Ok, so that was a quote from a book that was a little disturbing and quite depressing. I am still undecided on how I feel about it, but I like the quote! (Like Being Killed by Ellen Miller, in case you were wondering)
As I have mentioned before, Im finishing up the Millennium trilogy and I love them. As I shamefully admitted a few months ago, I read the Twilight series and got completely sucked in (pun intended!) to that series as well. When I was younger I really loved the Babysitters Little Sister (a very long series!) books and the Saddle Club books! My dad got me the best christmas gift ever one year and gave me 12 gift certificates to B Dalton (local book store, do they still exist?!) and each was dated with a month of the next year. So we got a date together to go book shopping once a month....Awesome!!! Anyways, I always got one of each and it was like visiting a good friend every time I opened the next book. (For the record, yes I was the dorky book kid, and yes, Im quite proud of that!)
I love books in a series! You know that feeling when you are finishing a good book and you don't want to put it down, but you also don't want it to be over?! Well, whoever decided on series of books must have been struggling with that dilemma. And what a great solution!
So...what is your favorite book series?! Im almost done with Lisbeth and Im really gonna miss her! So any suggestions?
As I have mentioned before, Im finishing up the Millennium trilogy and I love them. As I shamefully admitted a few months ago, I read the Twilight series and got completely sucked in (pun intended!) to that series as well. When I was younger I really loved the Babysitters Little Sister (a very long series!) books and the Saddle Club books! My dad got me the best christmas gift ever one year and gave me 12 gift certificates to B Dalton (local book store, do they still exist?!) and each was dated with a month of the next year. So we got a date together to go book shopping once a month....Awesome!!! Anyways, I always got one of each and it was like visiting a good friend every time I opened the next book. (For the record, yes I was the dorky book kid, and yes, Im quite proud of that!)
I love books in a series! You know that feeling when you are finishing a good book and you don't want to put it down, but you also don't want it to be over?! Well, whoever decided on series of books must have been struggling with that dilemma. And what a great solution!
So...what is your favorite book series?! Im almost done with Lisbeth and Im really gonna miss her! So any suggestions?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Cats and homework; never a good combination!
Squishy doesn't like when I do homework! I finally sit down to get some dissertating done (ps: I have coined that term as the verb form of dissertation!) and she comes by to mess with my plans!
The crazy thing is that a big part of my topic is on the human-animal bond, so its not like I can kick her off of it!!
(as you can see, she chose to stand right on that section, just to prove her point!!)
Ahh, cats....she is lucky she is cute!!
Monday, August 16, 2010
They never get it quite right...
You know when you read a good book, one where the author gives you amazing character development and you have a rich, familiar, detailed picture of each person in your head? You can go through the whole book along with this person who you can practically see! Then the movie comes along and...wait, that isn't who I saw! You know that feeling? I hate it!
Im finishing up the Millenium trilogy (aka: "the girl who...." books!) and have not yet watched the movies because I really didn't want to ruin the pictures of these characters that I have been so attached to throughout their stories. Well, I just saw the covers to the Swedish version of the movie and the discussions over who will play the lead characters in the American version and well, they just didn't get it right! :(
So, I am proposing the people who I would cast. That is if I had the means to create a movie based on the characters that have developed in my head! Here it goes;
Lisbeth: Kristen Stewart ~ I've put a lot of thought into this one, I started with Shane from the L word but that didn't feel quite right, then Dakota Fanning who I thought could transform to play her perfect. But when I was looking for a pic of Dakota that would fit what I had in mind, this one popped up! This is the exact picture I have of Lisbeth, strong and independent but also awkward and shy. Perfect! How did I not think of you Kristen?! (this also reinforces my mysterious crush on Lisbeth! ;) ~ )
Mikael: Bruce Willis ~ He was hard for me, my picture doesn't really fit anyone. Basically though, I see him as tough and somewhat rugged, but also charming in his own quirky way and definitely very compassionate, but maybe with a struggle to show it. Sounds like Bruce to me :)
Erika Berger: Sharon Stone ~ Strong, self confident, outgoing, independent, beautiful, and with a big personality. She has gotta be Sharon!
Zala: Jason Alexander ~ I don't really know why because I like the guy (Jason, not Zala!), its just that his physical characteristics are exactly how I pictured him! I think his ego is way too big for his stout little body (again, Zala, not Jason).
Niedermann: There is just nobody who I can think of that would fit the oaf of a man in my head!! Sort of like a cross between Vin Diesel and Owen Wilson.....
What do you guys think? Do any of these people fit your picture? Who is your Lisbeth?!
This is what I love about books, the reader is free to impart their own images and views. So we can all be reading the same words, but have completely independent images running through the text!
Im finishing up the Millenium trilogy (aka: "the girl who...." books!) and have not yet watched the movies because I really didn't want to ruin the pictures of these characters that I have been so attached to throughout their stories. Well, I just saw the covers to the Swedish version of the movie and the discussions over who will play the lead characters in the American version and well, they just didn't get it right! :(
So, I am proposing the people who I would cast. That is if I had the means to create a movie based on the characters that have developed in my head! Here it goes;
Lisbeth: Kristen Stewart ~ I've put a lot of thought into this one, I started with Shane from the L word but that didn't feel quite right, then Dakota Fanning who I thought could transform to play her perfect. But when I was looking for a pic of Dakota that would fit what I had in mind, this one popped up! This is the exact picture I have of Lisbeth, strong and independent but also awkward and shy. Perfect! How did I not think of you Kristen?! (this also reinforces my mysterious crush on Lisbeth! ;) ~ )
What do you guys think? Do any of these people fit your picture? Who is your Lisbeth?!
This is what I love about books, the reader is free to impart their own images and views. So we can all be reading the same words, but have completely independent images running through the text!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Domino is only the prettiest BBD this side of the Mississippi!!
And he is in a BBD contest to prove it! What is a BBD you ask? A Big Black Dog! Why is there a contest and why do they have an odd acronym? Well, Moose's post explains it in much more detail. But basically any big black dog in a shelter or adoption agency is destined for difficulties. They are often the last to be picked and get passed up for the "more colorful" dogs. There are many hypotheses about this;
They don't photograph well (the one I have heard the most often and the most ridiculous, I mean just look at how adorable he is!!)
They look scary (again, really?!)
They are less exciting.
Oh, and keep your paws crossed for Domino to win :)
So a trip to North Dakota was just what I needed...really!
I am convinced I have the best family in the world! It was so so great to get back home finally to see everyone and have everyone meet Rachel. I left feeling so loved and honored to have the respect and trust from such a great family.
Just to paint a small picture of my family; it is big!, a large percentage live in or near Thompson ND, they are mainly Catholic and Lutheran (it is the Midwest!), and everyone is pretty close. As I mentioned in the "pre-trip post" I was a bit nervous to be bringing Rachel back. It's the upper midwest, its conservative, enough said. I know my family loves me and wants to be accepting of whatever makes me happy, but change is hard and most people in that area don't even (knowingly) know anyone who is not heterosexual.
Everyone blew all of my worries right out of the water though! They were amazing and welcoming and loving. This shouldn't have been a surprise to me because this is exactly the family I grew up with; warm and welcoming to everyone. But I was throwing in a curve ball and my own anxieties and insecurities left me questioning the stability of that family atmosphere that I had not yet seen falter.
I was also finally able to appreciate the beauty of ND. I was so ready to leave when I moved; ready to experience something bigger and more complex. I thought that I was being stifled by lack of stimulation. How did I not see how freeing it can be? The vastness and pristine nature of land as far as you can see, is actually liberating. The simplicity is calming and rejuvenating, not boring as I once had been so quick to judge.
It was a wonderful trip home! I left feeling refreshed and reminded of the overwhelming and unconditional love that surrounds me. I appreciate where I came from so much because I clearly saw how everything from my upbringing shaped me into the person that I am today, and I am proud of that person. Im so glad that Rachel got to witness that. I think it was also the escape that we needed; not just time away, but also a chance for her to fully see me, which I so strongly needed.
Just to paint a small picture of my family; it is big!, a large percentage live in or near Thompson ND, they are mainly Catholic and Lutheran (it is the Midwest!), and everyone is pretty close. As I mentioned in the "pre-trip post" I was a bit nervous to be bringing Rachel back. It's the upper midwest, its conservative, enough said. I know my family loves me and wants to be accepting of whatever makes me happy, but change is hard and most people in that area don't even (knowingly) know anyone who is not heterosexual.
Everyone blew all of my worries right out of the water though! They were amazing and welcoming and loving. This shouldn't have been a surprise to me because this is exactly the family I grew up with; warm and welcoming to everyone. But I was throwing in a curve ball and my own anxieties and insecurities left me questioning the stability of that family atmosphere that I had not yet seen falter.
I was also finally able to appreciate the beauty of ND. I was so ready to leave when I moved; ready to experience something bigger and more complex. I thought that I was being stifled by lack of stimulation. How did I not see how freeing it can be? The vastness and pristine nature of land as far as you can see, is actually liberating. The simplicity is calming and rejuvenating, not boring as I once had been so quick to judge.
It was a wonderful trip home! I left feeling refreshed and reminded of the overwhelming and unconditional love that surrounds me. I appreciate where I came from so much because I clearly saw how everything from my upbringing shaped me into the person that I am today, and I am proud of that person. Im so glad that Rachel got to witness that. I think it was also the escape that we needed; not just time away, but also a chance for her to fully see me, which I so strongly needed.
My dad :)
home....
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Fly me away...
Hello my lovely readers! I am off on vacation...wait, don't get too excited for me. We are going to the landlocked state of North Dakota, woohoo! No sunkissed beaches for me!
No really, it is a vacation and I am actually really excited. It has been 2 years since I have been home so visiting the familiarity of my hometown will be really nice. Plus, I have a lot of family that I haven't seen in 2 years or more. Plus I saw that there are thunderstorms in the forecast! :) Its been 2 years since I have experienced a real live midwest thunderstorm...enough of this damn Seattle drizzle, I want some earth shattering lightning!!
What is the catch you ask? Well Rachel is coming with and this is the first time I have introduced a girlfriend to much of my family and also the first time I have brought anyone from my Seattle world into the (very much different) North Dakota world. Wish us luck!!
I will be back here to tell you all about it :)
No really, it is a vacation and I am actually really excited. It has been 2 years since I have been home so visiting the familiarity of my hometown will be really nice. Plus, I have a lot of family that I haven't seen in 2 years or more. Plus I saw that there are thunderstorms in the forecast! :) Its been 2 years since I have experienced a real live midwest thunderstorm...enough of this damn Seattle drizzle, I want some earth shattering lightning!!
What is the catch you ask? Well Rachel is coming with and this is the first time I have introduced a girlfriend to much of my family and also the first time I have brought anyone from my Seattle world into the (very much different) North Dakota world. Wish us luck!!
I will be back here to tell you all about it :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Girl with the Owl Tattoo
...yeah, I used the reference, I never claimed that I wasn't a dork!
So, I finally got my owl tattoo and I love love love it!!
How adorable is he?! How could you not love a tattoo with a cute owl and books?!
He is also special to me because he represents all that I have acomplished and all the drive I need to find in order to finish. As I mentioned before, Ive felt a bit of a *blah* reaction to any graduate academic acomplishments. Im also lately feeling very burnt out and apathetic towards the process, which I hate. So, I rewarded myself :) I wanted to mark my finishing coursework and give myself motivation to get back to working on my dissertation. I think it has worked, Im a dissertating maniac lately!!
So, I finally got my owl tattoo and I love love love it!!
How adorable is he?! How could you not love a tattoo with a cute owl and books?!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Why is therapy a taboo word?!
Ok Im going to preface this post, please do not think of me as a psychologist-to-be when reading this! Im not writing it as a way to promote my field. Obviously therapy and internal self growth are things that are important to me on many different levels, but my career choice is only one of those levels, this comes from the other layers...
I am in therapy. I am soon starting couples therapy. I have been in therapy multiple times throughout my life. Why is this something that people have a hard time saying? I pursue therapy not because I am psychotic or because I am painfully depressed, but because I am alive! Life is difficult, it comes with sadness and heartache and stress and...well, pain. I want to be able to understand my way of being within those struggles. I yearn for a deeper understanding of myself and that is what therapy means to me.
Don't get me wrong, a lot of therapy clients do struggle with psychosis and debilitating depression, and that is a lot of what therapy is there for. I am by no means trying to belittle or downplay the significance of that. But, that doesn't have to be all that it is there for! For some reason, our society has this negative view of therapy and the people who pursue it. We (the people in therapy) are looked at as this helpless person who can't deal with life, so we go to someone else to walk us through it. I view us as strong people who are able to acknowledge the fact that life is hard and sometimes talking through it helps! Why do people who get labeled as strong when they are working out to better themselves physically but weak when they are trying to better themselves internally?!
And then there is couples therapy which has an even worse stereotype. Im going to state the blatantly obvious here, but relationships are hard, really hard!! In my mind, couples therapy should be the norm rather than the ultimatum presented when everything is falling apart. Very few couples actually pursue therapy until it is the one string they are left with to grip onto. So, what happens? Society thinks that is what couples therapy is there for, a way to hold on to the small piece that is left, or a cleaner way to let go. What does that leave the rest of us with? Those of us who pursue couples therapy as a way to help us get through the rocky parts and come out of them a little less banged up?
I understand that this is all a vicious cyclical experience. Couples who do pursue therapy before the relationship is hanging by a thread don't want to tell anyone for fear of being labeled as doomed. So, nobody knows that people do go to therapy before that point, so they think that is all that it is there for...and then nobody goes. You get the picture. Its the same thing for individual therapy, albeit to a lesser degree. But still, nobody wants to mention that they are in therapy for fear of being labeled "crazy"...so the stereotype that society holds remains there.
What is my point here? Im proposing that those of us who are in therapy as a way to better ourselves and deepen our self awareness, speak up! I am in therapy! Let it be known, it is a sign of strength and personal growth, not of weakness.
I am in therapy. I am soon starting couples therapy. I have been in therapy multiple times throughout my life. Why is this something that people have a hard time saying? I pursue therapy not because I am psychotic or because I am painfully depressed, but because I am alive! Life is difficult, it comes with sadness and heartache and stress and...well, pain. I want to be able to understand my way of being within those struggles. I yearn for a deeper understanding of myself and that is what therapy means to me.
Don't get me wrong, a lot of therapy clients do struggle with psychosis and debilitating depression, and that is a lot of what therapy is there for. I am by no means trying to belittle or downplay the significance of that. But, that doesn't have to be all that it is there for! For some reason, our society has this negative view of therapy and the people who pursue it. We (the people in therapy) are looked at as this helpless person who can't deal with life, so we go to someone else to walk us through it. I view us as strong people who are able to acknowledge the fact that life is hard and sometimes talking through it helps! Why do people who get labeled as strong when they are working out to better themselves physically but weak when they are trying to better themselves internally?!
And then there is couples therapy which has an even worse stereotype. Im going to state the blatantly obvious here, but relationships are hard, really hard!! In my mind, couples therapy should be the norm rather than the ultimatum presented when everything is falling apart. Very few couples actually pursue therapy until it is the one string they are left with to grip onto. So, what happens? Society thinks that is what couples therapy is there for, a way to hold on to the small piece that is left, or a cleaner way to let go. What does that leave the rest of us with? Those of us who pursue couples therapy as a way to help us get through the rocky parts and come out of them a little less banged up?
I understand that this is all a vicious cyclical experience. Couples who do pursue therapy before the relationship is hanging by a thread don't want to tell anyone for fear of being labeled as doomed. So, nobody knows that people do go to therapy before that point, so they think that is all that it is there for...and then nobody goes. You get the picture. Its the same thing for individual therapy, albeit to a lesser degree. But still, nobody wants to mention that they are in therapy for fear of being labeled "crazy"...so the stereotype that society holds remains there.
What is my point here? Im proposing that those of us who are in therapy as a way to better ourselves and deepen our self awareness, speak up! I am in therapy! Let it be known, it is a sign of strength and personal growth, not of weakness.
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