I had my last day of my last class today. Im not sure how I feel about it, its a mixture of loneliness and relief. I have realized that there is this weird thing about grad school; every achievement prior to graduation is depressingly anti-climatic. When I got my master's degree en route, I passed the competency exam and was told "good job, but no MA title yet" then a few months later my diploma was mailed to me with a note that said basically "as of a months ago, you have a masters degree"....great, thanks for the heads up to celebrate!
Also our CCEs, the other big ticket item, it was a huge stressor and an obscene amount of work. But, when we passed it, we received a "you passed"...that was about it. My favorite professor was aware of this minimization and made some confetti to throw at us. The simple fact that she threw shredded up paper at us brought us all to tears!
Now, within the last few weeks most of my cohort has experienced our last day of class. This is a big deal! I have literally be in school for 22 years straight! College for 9 1/2 years! That is a big freakin' deal! Im not even sure that I know how to function without homework deadlines and the classroom format.
But, yet again it has been sort of a depressingly subdued experience. I am so burnt out, and yet I feel like everyone around me is thinking "yeah well you have been in school forever, whats the big deal, contact me when you actually graduate!!" Its depressing and lonely for me. I know I still have dissertation and internship left. but finishing coursework is a big deal! All I need is a little encouragement!
Am I pouting? Have any other grad students felt the same despair? How do I honor my milestones while still maintaining motivation for the rest of the work I have to do?