Saturday, June 26, 2010

I think that celebrating 22 years of classwork is justified!.....right?!

I had my last day of my last class today. Im not sure how I feel about it, its a mixture of loneliness and relief. I have realized that there is this weird thing about grad school; every achievement prior to graduation is depressingly anti-climatic. When I got my master's degree en route, I passed the competency exam and was told "good job, but no MA title yet" then a few months later my diploma was mailed to me with a note that said basically "as of a months ago, you have a masters degree"....great, thanks for the heads up to celebrate!

Also our CCEs, the other big ticket item, it was a huge stressor and an obscene amount of work. But, when we passed it, we received a "you passed"...that was about it. My favorite professor was aware of this minimization and made some confetti to throw at us. The simple fact that she threw shredded up paper at us brought us all to tears!

Now, within the last few weeks most of my cohort has experienced our last day of class. This is a big deal! I have literally be in school for 22 years straight! College for 9 1/2 years! That is a big freakin' deal!  Im not even sure that I know how to function without homework deadlines and the classroom format.

But, yet again it has been sort of a depressingly subdued experience. I am so burnt out, and yet I feel like everyone around me is thinking "yeah well you have been in school forever, whats the big deal, contact me when you actually graduate!!" Its depressing and lonely for me. I know I still have dissertation and internship left. but finishing coursework is a big deal! All I need is a little encouragement!

Am I pouting? Have any other grad students felt the same despair? How do I honor my milestones while still maintaining motivation for the rest of the work I have to do?

5 comments:

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I was pretty much on my last rope when i finished my MBA so it was just such a sense of relief. That's pretty much all I felt - relief. I ended up walking through commencement which made it feel more rea/special and then we went out for a big lunch afterwards with family. A couple of weeks later, I hosted a big party at my parents cabin and had about 50 people there - so again, made it a party! Now it's weird to think I a done with school FOREVER. And I really am. I will not go back for another degree. Maybe I will try to learn another language, but I am done with an actual academic degree. Which makes me happy!

Congrats! What an amazing accomplishment1!

Heathrow's World said...

You have reason to celebrate! I know I do NOT have the dedication you do to stay in school that long. When I got my Bachelors it was a HUGE relief and I wanted to run away from school for forever. Be proud! Congrats!

Lynn said...

Rah Rah Hiss Boom Bah! GooooooooOOOOO CRYSTAL!!!! The mere thought of 22 years in school makes me sick to my stomach... I would have cried too if I had confetti thrown at me. Ok, that sounds weird, like, now I have to live up to a test, like, if the next time I see you, you will throw confetti at me, and if i don't cry then I HAVE FAILED!

whoa- back to reality Lynn... GoooooOOOO CRYSTAL!

Mel's Way or No Way said...

It's so sad you don't get the recoginition like you should. I'm sending big congrats to you. I know you're burnt out but when I think about 22 years of school... I'm amazed by that feat.

crystal said...

Thanks guys!! :)