Friday, November 12, 2010

Its too hard...lets just give up!

This idea our society has formed of just giving up when the going gets tough, has been on my mind a lot lately. My focus on this comes from a few personal reasons that I am not really comfortable sharing right now...but bear with me because I still think this post is valid!

The thought of making this into a blog post came from watching last week's Grey's Anatomy. If you don't watch this show, here is a basic run down. Callie and Arizona have been together for awhile and are portrayed as a strong happy couple. Well Arizona wins this grant and has to go to Africa, Callie doesn't want to go...but she is willing to uproot her life and move to Africa for 3 years (!!) because she loves Arizona and wants to be with her! Aparently this isn't enough for Arizona, she wants her to be extatic about moving to another country with her while she pursues her dream. Why is doing it and trying to find the happiness in it not enough?! So she leaves....

The part that bothers me the most is when she says "we are standing in an airport screaming at eachother, we are already over." In other words, this is hard and we are having a big fight, so it must be over. Why do people think this way, why do we romanticize Arizona's actions in this instance, but see Callie as the pathetic one? In my mind, Callie is the strong one! She was willing to fight for the relationship, even when it was hard. Arizona just left when it got difficult. What happens though, Callie ends up like this....

broken and in pain, while Arizona goes off to Africa and puts on a happy face. Don't get me wrong, I think the broken route is far better because you grieve, process, and learn from it. But it sure does suck when you are in it and thinking about the other person walking around in a facade of happiness.

Why do so many people anymore just give up? Why do the Callies of this world end up always broken after giving it everything, even through the pain? Why do the Arizonas think that trading a broken model in for a shiny new one is the answer? Everything breaks at some point, its just an opportunity to mend!

In case anyone is wondering, yes, I definitely am a Callie. I have all too often been the one to give it my all, even through the difficult times, just to come out broken and alone. I am proud of this, I really really am...but damn it hurts like hell...

4 comments:

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I think I am probaby more like Arizona? I don't know for sure, though. I mean, I have definitely fought for relationships to work but I have also been in a place where I think - 'it shouldn't be this hard!' But maybe it should & that's part of being in a relationship? So tough... Very good/thought provoking post!!

rachelgab said...

Yeah I didn't really get it when I saw that episode. I think that for the show's purpose it is just running out of ideas and they had to throw a wrench in things. In real life I think people just figure they "deserve" more or something. They are not in tune enough to really get what they are doing. I think if when we choose or partners, we pick people that we know are fighters who are wiling to get help and admit they don't know it all, that is a beautiful thing. I'm holding out for a hero!

crystal said...

Just to clarify, I definitely see the value in being an Arizona...I just know I am a Callie and yet somehow keep choosing Arizonas :( Us Callies need to stick together!

Rachel - Agreed, wholeheartedly!!! Now the "holding out for a hero" song is stuck in my head though!! :)

Benny and Lily said...

agree, most people would rather run. Its easier
Benny & Lily