The complexities of balance

I am continually amazed by the complex nature of the human beings. It is phenomenally amazing to me how diversly individual we are and I am constantly in awe of how these aspects of who we are affect us on so many levels. (Obviously I am in the right field...) There are so many ways in which we can understand ourselves; I, for one, am an introvert and Pisces. I am such a proponent of insight and self awareness that I find it baffling when people are not interested in understanding themselves to the deepest degree....

Anyways, this is probably one of the main reasons that I am so drawn to yoga. It is all about the internal process and the meaning making within the poses. With that in mind, I have noticed that I have this strong pull towards inversions, but I also have a lot of resistance towards them. This was frustrating me because I really like yoga and feel like I have been making huge gains in my practice...except for inversions! Well my new favorite instructor started our practice the other day by explaining the different Doshas and how people can often feel off balance during the season changes due to the switching between Dosha foci. (Eeek, amazing right?!) As she was explaining them I was thinking, hmm...I wonder what I am. And then she got to the Kapha which is, well, me in a nutshell!! Someone who is predominately Kapha is; relaxed and slow moving, compassionate, prone to depression and strong emotions, has slow and reflective speech, not easily upset, prone to emotional or seasonal weight gain, self sufficient, among other things... But basically, this. is. me.

I know all of these things about me, but it is absolutely amazing to me to have so many different forms of thought confirm this about myself. Come on people, this is why self awareness is so interesting!!! Anyways, Im getting off topic here. My point was that this discovery of my yogic Dosha gave me insight into my ambiguity towards inversions. As a Kapha, I am very grounded and therefore feel comfort in the grounded poses, case in point, my favorite pose (well aside from corpse pose because, come on, its freaking heaven!) is tree pose. I love it and I feel so comfortable and right when I am in it.

So, what does this mean for inversions? They are pretty much the opposite of being grounded, they are turning yourself literally upside down! So, it is out of my realm of comfort. This also explains though why I am drawn to these poses, our internal selves strive towards balance even when we are externally unaware. Balance for me as a Kapha, would require poses that are out of my comfort, away from my grounded familiarity. How absolutely phenomenally amazing is it that my body and internal state both knew this and were simultaniously pulling against the need for both comfort and balance, all without me even knowing it? I mean really! Am I the only person who finds this to be so fascinating?

The even better part is that now that I am aware of this, I have a better frame of reference for working on my inversions. Its not just trying a pose that I am afraid of failing at, it is working towards my internal balance. Guess what? This makes it much less scary and I am doing wall supported head and neck stands like crazy now :)

I will continually be amazed by the complex nature of our beings...and I am thrilled for the lifelong journey of getting to know myself!

Side note; As I said, I just learned about this idea this week so I am by absolutely no means an expert. I am currently looking for a book to read up on it, but for now there is more information here, here, and here.