Happy Pride!

Seattle Pride is always quite an event! This year though, a rainbow flag was placed on top of the space needle...thats right the space needle, only the most iconic structure in Seattle!! Also, it was up there for the entire weekend, not just during the parade. I think this is awesome, it is a huge statement about the support this city gives to the LGBTQ community. So, thank you Seattle :)

I think that celebrating 22 years of classwork is justified!.....right?!

I had my last day of my last class today. Im not sure how I feel about it, its a mixture of loneliness and relief. I have realized that there is this weird thing about grad school; every achievement prior to graduation is depressingly anti-climatic. When I got my master's degree en route, I passed the competency exam and was told "good job, but no MA title yet" then a few months later my diploma was mailed to me with a note that said basically "as of a months ago, you have a masters degree"....great, thanks for the heads up to celebrate!

Also our CCEs, the other big ticket item, it was a huge stressor and an obscene amount of work. But, when we passed it, we received a "you passed"...that was about it. My favorite professor was aware of this minimization and made some confetti to throw at us. The simple fact that she threw shredded up paper at us brought us all to tears!

Now, within the last few weeks most of my cohort has experienced our last day of class. This is a big deal! I have literally be in school for 22 years straight! College for 9 1/2 years! That is a big freakin' deal!  Im not even sure that I know how to function without homework deadlines and the classroom format.

But, yet again it has been sort of a depressingly subdued experience. I am so burnt out, and yet I feel like everyone around me is thinking "yeah well you have been in school forever, whats the big deal, contact me when you actually graduate!!" Its depressing and lonely for me. I know I still have dissertation and internship left. but finishing coursework is a big deal! All I need is a little encouragement!

Am I pouting? Have any other grad students felt the same despair? How do I honor my milestones while still maintaining motivation for the rest of the work I have to do?

Why don't I ever talk about all the pros of grad school!?!!

I feel like I complain a lot about the stress, work, and general difficulty of grad school. I'm sorry. In my defense though, I am finishing up my 4th year (8.5 years total of college coursework...but who is counting?!) and am a bit burnt out. As I was walking along the waterfront though today, I thought to myself "I never would be here if it wasn't for grad school!" and I really truly love Seattle. That got me thinking about all of the other things I have gained from this experience. It really is a wonderful thing and I feel so lucky to be able to go through the process, so I thought I would share what I love about grad school...

• I moved out of the Midwest and into Seattle; a city that really fits me better. I love the atmosphere, the beauty of the pacific northwest, the people, the experiences that are literally everywhere just waiting to be found! I really love this city :)
• I love intellectual discussion! And I don't mean talking about textbooks or theory, but having good intense discussions about topics that I am passionate about, with people who feel the same way.
• Networking and finding my niche, plus people who are passionate about that area.
• Being able to say, "well I'm a grad student" when people ask what I do. There is just something gratifying about that answer, particularly to judgemental people who formed immediate stereotypes about me when I was a server/bartender!
• Therapy, I really love doing therapy!! (good thing, huh?)
• Learning about the mind and emotions and human behavior. We are such an amazing species and it is so exciting to learn about all the capabilities that we have and the ways that suffering can be understood and alleviated.
• The friends I have made, both in and out of school. Ive met some great people here in Seattle and I have a wonderful cohort at school Its great to be surrounded by compassionate, albeit stressed out, colleagues!
• Learning to take the bus, I have actually became quite an expert on public transportation. That's quite an accomplishment considering I moved here having never used any form of public transportation and learned all by myself through good old "trial and error" (and there were some hilarious errors!!)
• Rachel, who I obviously never would have met without moving here and being forced to work at the crappy Outback!
• Hospice volunteering, its a great experience and a wonderful reminder of why I wanted to go into the field of helping people through their struggles.
• I even think being pathetically poor is a good thing. Although I am definitely sick of it, I do think it is good to be poor for a while. It makes you appreciate things so much more (I wrote an entire ecstatic blog about finding a $5 bill!!!) Plus, its nice to do it with a bunch of friends who are poor at the same time, who else could I complain about the bitch Sallie Mae to?!

There are so many more wonderful things about this experience, but I just wanted to share a few. Its a reminder to myself that I really really love what I am doing. I'm going to love my career, but I also need to remember the joy in the journey of getting there.

pictures?

Is anyone else having problems posting pictures lately? Its annoying! Oh and what are your thoughts on that rating thing you can put on the bottom of a post now? Im undecided.....

Ahh, the life of a server!

I am kicking myself for not finding blogging until after I finally left the hell hole world of the restaurant business!! Damn, that would have been the epitome of cathartic! Maybe I would have been able to keep the horrible thoughts from seeping out in my facial expressions and the ever so mature "leaving table mumbles" if I had an outlet to vent. But alas, I did not think of blogging until later *sigh*.

Recently though, I found a few blogs of servers who did discover the wonders of cathartic blogging while still stuck in the job from hell. They are all a wonderful reminder of why I am choosing to be painfully poor during my last leg of school rather than go back to.....well, there really is not better label than hell!! (can you tell I hated serving?!)

This blog, Girl and a Guitar, is about a Hooters server....and I thought Outback was a hotbed of cheap pickup lines; yikes!

The Bitchy Waiter says everything that continually goes through your mind as a server, think of that the next time you ask your server for a different kind of condiment every time they pass your table, or want separate tickets after the meal is over, or...well you get the idea!

And the good old classic, Waiter Rant :)

Oh boy, I do not miss it!!!

Zindle

We have been looking for a playmate for Domino for a few months now. Here is what we had in mind; a dog his age but half the size! One who would play well with him and be indifferent to cats. A dog who would do as well as Domino does at the dog park since trips to the park are such a big part of our lives. One who is not a barker and kennel trained.

We have driven around to the shelters and rescue organizations in the area and have looked at a few different dogs. None of them worked out for one reason or another; not well with cats, health problems that we were not ready to take on, or they were just not a good match for Domino. Well finally we met Lucy, she seemed about perfect based on the little that they knew about her plus she played great with Domino right away! So, we agreed to adopt her, set her up to be spayed, and drove out to get her last friday.

Well we got home and...different dog! She is fear aggressive in the house, possessive of everything; food, treats, toys, us even! She has very little interest in Domino or playing. She is showing signs of separation anxiety and barks loudly when she is in her kennel. (by the way, I have worked with a lot of dogs and these problems are among the few that I have never dealt with personally...of course!) Aahhh, what do we do?!

She is such a sweetheart and already attached to us, but not at all what we were looking for. Do we try expensive in-home training and hope that she is able to get along with Domino and go on park trips? Or, do we try to find her a more suitable home; specifically one with no other dogs and a person she can have sole attachment to? This would be easier if it wasn't for Domino, we really were looking for a playmate for him and it feels unfair to try to make her work when we could find her a better home and find a better match for him. But, what if the home we find her isn't better, what if she grows into this home and they become BFF? I don't know what to do.....help!

ps: we renamed her Zindle and I love the name, it fits her for some reason :)

"Do not pity a shelter dog, adopt one"

I love this commercial! I am such a strong proponent of adopting pets. Buying from a breeder, pet store, puppy mill, or whatever only results in a shelter dog spending more time in a sad kennel. Plus, who wants to spend hundreds or thousands on a purebred dog (who by the way, is likely inbred and a just crawling with health problems!) when mutts have so much more character. So, to anyone looking for a new family member...please check your local shelters and rescue organizations! I can guarantee that there is an adorable lovable mutt just waiting to shower you with unconditional love!